I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
