Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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