Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
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So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
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Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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