We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Randomize