the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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