Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I didn't notice because vodka
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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