so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
