Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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