WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
How does it feel to date your dad?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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