The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
