I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Randomize
