I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
