Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
