Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Found your dick twin last night
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
