BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
