afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize