he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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