i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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