He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
