We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
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My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
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I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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