Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
