Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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