Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
