: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
