i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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