and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
