if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize