Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
