Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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