She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You're like the curious george of whores
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Randomize
