My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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