Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
ok first of all what the fuck
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
