at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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