I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
