Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I got inside last night via doggy door
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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