So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
