If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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