You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize
