Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
