ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize