Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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