Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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