I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
