She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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