I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just forgot I was standing up.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
