Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
