yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
