remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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