I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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