Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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