So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
