Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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