Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Randomize
