ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
