why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
