i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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