We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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