Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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