you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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