Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
33 Sex Crazed People That Are Going Balls Deep
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
21 Family Members Confess The Creepiest Things They Know About a Relative
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts