I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
If that was your dad, he is hot
I'm drive I can fine osifer
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..