Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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