you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer