Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
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All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
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The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.