do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???