Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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