I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars